- Shirley Knott & Reece Knott  -

Often known as the 'better half', she wears the trousers, while he holds the purse-strings.

- Jerry Bilt & Arthur Job -

Jerry sometimes gets mistaken for a bike rack so prefers to work standing up. Arthur once managed to dunk 100 biscuits in a minute, which stands as a company record to this day.

  - Ivor Record -

Has taken more photos of buildings than a Japanese tourist. He's a real master of the back-protection clause.

- Flo Essant -

Always coming up with seemingly bright ideas that are actually a bit dim. Forever texting about nothing in particular.

- Hugh Dope -

Enjoys surfing the Internet for the best figures. Has skin thicker than a Rhino's, with a head to match.

           - Professor Pat. Pending -

Not bad at juggling whilst balancing on a green unicycle, it's all in a days work. He says he's a keen recycler but I don't think back-pedalling counts.

 - Iwona Yodoshanohankypankski -

Beavers away at the local café for a few beans and a bottle of vodka.

                   - Doug Trialhol -

A keen matchstick model maker who once saw his work go up in smoke when standing on one of the red matchsticks in error.

                  - Adam Apple -

Apparently of Scottish origin but I've never before seen a floral kilt.

- The Right 'Orrible Ann Dintill -

If you would like to write to me at my constituency office I shall be able to give you my full response to your question, but all I can say at the moment is that I have always operated within the rules. Apparently got a First Class degree in Sheer Arrogance.

- Max Ridgeheight -

Out-of-office response - we endeavour to respond within 28 working days, unless we forget.

         - Sir Bill Big -

Went to the University of Life where he learnt how to wheel and deal. Doesn't know how he keeps his figure, but does know how many beans make five.

        - Guy Rope -

Is pleased with the way his shares in steel and concrete are performing. Once broke out in a cold sweat when he accidentally halved a number that should have been doubled for safety.

               Teresa Lovely -

Head of the tree hugging society, just like her mother and grandmother before her.

- Robin Bar-Steward -

Started his working career as a clown and has sadly struggled to progress, due to lack of qualifications.

          - Lee Nover -

Born in Piza, Italy. Enjoys visiting National Trust properties, mainly for the tea rooms.